Saturday, January 4, 2014

New Year, New Me (I guess)

Not sure what 2014 holds for me.

But I have BIG plans.

Just did a vision board journal for 2014 and I plan to make this a year that stands out.

In Dec 2013, I did a few housekeeping things, which included determining whether my ex husband wanted to try again.

He basically told me he wanted to get himself together first and for us to revisit this in a few months.

 I took that as a "No"

I'm not going to waste my time this year on people who don't want to waste their time with me.

I am going to try to be a better friend.

Work on my health.

Work on my financial fitness

And basically work on my mental health which has been in dire straits over the last few years.

This year is about me.

I am not going to worry about getting a man, or having a baby or proving something to someone or any of the other things that crossed my mind that weren't for my benefit.

My three year plan includes finding a mate, but year number 1 is to get myself together and to be the woman the man I want, would want.

So wish me luck.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Not Really What You Want To Read...

Definition of Vacation
1. a period of suspension of work, study, or other activity, usually used for rest, recreation, or travel; recess or holiday: Schoolchildren are on vacation now.
2. a part of the year, regularly set aside, when normal activities of law courts, legislatures, etc., are suspended.
3. freedom or release from duty, business, or activity.
4. an act or instance of vacating.
In this context I didn't really lie. I DID go on vacation. It wasn't necessarily for recreation or travel, but it was indeed for rest.
You see, I had a 50 day vacation in a psych hospital.
From September 26th to November 15th.
Yes, I counted the days.
I still can't believe I practically missed Fall. It was warm when I went in, and deathly cold when I came out. So much for being able to wear my cute fall jackets.
While inpatient, I underwent excessive therapy, extreme medicinal changes, an overdose of cognitive classes and most extreme, a process called ECT, Electo Convulsive Therapy. Which, if it had to be compared to anything, would be most like Shock Treatment.
Yes, I underwent brain stimulation to attempt to cure me of my disorder. Wild huh?
Nonetheless, nothing seemed to work, and my insurance kicked my out after 50 days of making zero progress. (Well, some progress was made according to my doctors, but according to me, I left worse than I came in).
I've been battling my feelings, my past, my parts for a while. It has seemed to have gotten excessively worse lately.
Things, little and big, make me emotional, stress me out and overwhelm me to the point of non-functioning.
Since, being home for a bit, I've gotten a bit more control over my emotions and my medicine. When I first arrived home, I had apparently been taken so much medicine that I was practically overdosed for the first few days and couldn't function, so my psychiatrist basically halved everything to see if that would fix the problem (which it did).
There are a lot more things I could and would tell you about what I've been up to since June. It is all actually quite interesting, but most likely something you don't really want to read from a blog, that normally post outfit post.
But, I just wanted to get it out there why it seemed my vacation was so excessively long, and why my blog has been so extremely quiet.
I'm not sure if I plan to post outfit post anytime soon, to be honest.
After I got over the overdost, I've worn some pretty cute things if I do say so myself, but the motivation to set up my tripod and primp and pose in front of the camera has gone down the drain.
THank you anyway for those who have checked on me occaisionally, and those who have actually read this far into this post.
Hopefully, I'll be back soon.
Take Care
Jen L

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Quotable Sunday - Mental Illness


Telling someone with mental illness to

"pull themselves together" is just as

 helpful as

  telling someone with AIDS to "just snap

out of it"