Thursday, September 5, 2013

OOTD: Depression Hurts But I Try Not To Look Like It

You can't even imagine how hard it was for me to smile in these pictures. Of the 100+ pictures I took, I smiled in about 25 of them. 

When you're depressed it is hard to smile. Even to fake a smile.
Your cheeks are heavy and your lips feel stuck together.
Showing your teeth is sometimes not even an option.
I wore this to my therapy appointment.
I wanted something loose and comfortable, but also something to keep me somewhat warm in a cold office.

 I've been having a rough time since I got out of the hospital. Everything seems so much harder than I remember it being.
 At the end of the day, I am absolutely exhausted and want nothing more than to crawl up the stairs to my bedroom, slip under the covers, pull the sheets up tight around my neck, bury my face into the pillow, and just sleep.
Unfortunately, depression doesn't only hurt the one who experiences it, but also those individuals that happen to be around. They also have to deal with the exhaustion, the lack of motivation or interest, the crying, the frowns, the irritable mood. It's hard for both parties. Depression hurts..
 Sometimes I just wish I could be well. I want to be well. I want to smile and laugh.
 But othertimes, I don't feel like I deserve to smile. Like I don't deserve to laugh or be happy.
Depression is a miserable illness. You feel no hope for your future, you are constantly regretting your past, and you loathe the present.
Just because a depressed person is able to laugh at a joke, or smile to your face doesn't mean they aren't depressed. It really depends on what they are doing behind closed doors. Are they isolating? Are they able to bathe and brush their teeth daily (unfortunately, this is a BIG symptom of depression), are they not smiling most of the time when you see them? Are they either refusing to talk about their life, or complaining too much about their life?

 There are so many different symptoms of depression, there is no way I can even attempt to list them all. But they are different for everyone. Everyone deals with depression in a different way.
I just ask that you have compassion for the depressed person. They aren't being depressed on purpose.

And please don't think that just asking them to smile more, laugh more, exercise more or get out of the house more, or even asking them to talk it out, doesn't necessarily solve the problem of real severe depression.

Depression is an illness. Not a mood. 

And that is where many people get confused.

Well, enough about that. I think I've depressed you enough. So, I'll just end it here.

As always, thanks for reading. And if you have any comments or questions, please feel free to write them below.

Take Gentle care

Jen L.

Blazer: Lane Bryant/ Cold Shoulder Blouse: Asos /  Cropped leggings: INC c/o Macy's /  Shoes: Jessica Simpson 

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