Friday, September 6, 2013

Recent Indulgences and Shopping As A Coping Mechanism

I'm not sure why I shop so much. It isn't because of the blog, it isn't because I'm trying to impress people and it isn't because I'm trying to stay trendy. It would actually be a lot easier to blame my shopping on something other than just myself, since that way it seems it would be easier to stop.

Unfortunately, I think I use shopping as a coping mechanism.

Whenever my life feels completely out of control (like it does now), and it seems that hardly anything can make me happy, shopping is something that I feel like I have some control over (and it makes me feel good).

When I have money, I can usually buy what I want, when I want and how I want.

There is also the excitement of waiting for my order to arrive in the mail, the rush of relief  and intrigue when I see the boxes at my door, and the satisfaction I feel when I put something on and it fits and it makes me feel beautiful; If even just for a second.

 Even if I have no where to wear my beautiful new acquisition, just the act of staring in the mirror and liking what I see at that particular moment lightens up my mood.

So, I guess that acts as a prelude (and excuse) as to why I indulged myself while in the hospital and shortly after I was out of the hospital.

Sometimes, I just need something to look forward to out in the "real" world.
I need something that will make me feel good, if even for a moment.

When depressed, those moments of happiness, of contentment and of self-love are few, far between and fleeting. They rarely come and when they do, they last a very short time.

I know I am going to get some side eye from my parents (and probably you the reader) about spending money on clothes when I really should be spending money on hospital bills.

But clothes make me feel so much more alive. They make me feel good. They increase my self-confidence, and dare I say...they make me smile...

So with that said, below are some of my late August, early September indulgences.







Let's see how much I will return!!

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